Shah's thoughts

the bachelor finale

last night, as i couldn't sleep, i watched a finale of the bachelor reality series.

where jesse finally chosen the openly loving jessica over the impersonal n independent tara. i observed that jesse chose a girl who is more emotionally in contact with him, the girl that his mom and best girlfriend prefers rather than the intelligent omnipotent girl that his father favors..

and it touches my heart to listen to jesse's heartfelt confession when he finally got to reveal his heart at the final rose ceremony. i mean, it must have been hell for this idealistically moralist nice guy when he got to adhere to the rules of giving both girls the chance to woo for his hand. when all he ever wanted is honesty..

hmmm...

these few days i've been thinking. thinking long thoughts. long thoughts during even longer sleepless nights.

and  i found myself jotting this rather forthright note somewhere, in response to echah's blues 2nd.

sometimes, bila kita berterus terang dan cakap kita sayang seseorang, direct to the point dan takde berselirat lagi, tetiba orang tu senyap je dan tak kata apa-apa. kawan pun tak, benci pun tak, suka pun tak.

macam mana tu?

bila kita call, dia tak angkat. bila kita sms, dia buat tak tahu.

bila dia call, seolah-olah takde apa2 yg berlaku sebelum ni, everything the same aje. as if the fact kita lost contact tu takde makne pada dia. dia pick up the pieces and act if everything normal.

bila jumpa bersua muka, kata2 bisu sahaja yg mampu dipancarkan dari matanya.. kata-kata bisu yang saya tak mampu tafsirkan tanpa kepastian kata-kata nyata.

as if i’m in the Bachelor show, the guy still can’t say what he really feels. suka pun tak, tak suka pun tak.

i miss having a direct communication. sekarang ni rasa macam bercakap dengan dinding. kadang2 meluat dengan dinding tu, tapi sesekala rindu gila dan tak kisah bercakap sorang-sorang dengan dinding.

haddoii..

and i wonder, maybe i've kept the feelings inside for quite a time. there are moments i wish that my words would reach out and touch his heart.

warming and consoling like the passionate fires licking the embers upon a very cold freezing night on a secluded wooden cabin up on a snowy mountain top <- vivid imagination, this one-

and i remember echah's quote:

I don’t want you to do thing just to make me happy.
I want you to do it because it makes you happy too.
I want you to be happy when you are with me.

is that too much to ask? honestly, am i asking the wrong person here?

am i?

old movies

selalunya, bila belek balik dan nonton citer lama yg penah saya gilakan dulu, contohnya: Lois & Clark, saya tergelak sendiri. punya la saya sanggup gamble studies saya dulu semata-mata nk tengok citer ni. bila dah berduwit, saya beli citer ni. dua box set yg dah almost 8 months ada kat umah saya. tapi bila saya pasang dan tengok balik, humang ai. saya malu sendiri :">

time tu teknologi sci-fi masih rendah. kualiti lakonan masih kayu dan storyline ntahapeapentah.. i mean, i cringed! but i remembered, the believable chemistry between clark n lois was the one that mattered dulu. kan?

then, i watched ever after by drew barrymore n dougray scott. opinionated, passionate and funny, the main ingredients of my fave movie. i think i've watched this for 100th times without ever feeling bored nor disenchanted.

the moment henry rejected danielle publicly at the ball, i've severed any romantical inclinations i have for him ever since. the betrayal of trust was too high a crime. even though he somewhat redeemed himself later on with such a hearfelt rendition:

i knelt before u not as a prince, but a man in love.

but i will feel like a king, should u agree to be my wife...

sigh...

anyway, here's the prime piece of my post today: out of sight by george clooney n jennifer lopez. it was on Starmovies last night and i found myself intrigued by george's smile. way before he schemed with his elevens and twelves plus thirteens, he had robbed me off my attention with this quirky love story.

even though this movie is considered an oldie by my rate, i found it timeless. coupled with george's signature laughing eyes, i think i'd always be entertained by it on any rainy day.

know what, his laughing eyes and daredevillish laidback self always remind me of MJr. i wonder why?

all in all, i think i love having Starmovies and its lot at home no.7~ it helps me get through my weekend with much pleasure :)

my long time fave ~ the thornbirds

The title refers to a mythical bird that searches for thorn trees from the day it is hatched. When it finds the perfect thorn, it impales itself, singing the most beautiful song ever heard as it dies.

em, i first chanced upon The Thornbirds mini-series during my brief stay in JB in year 1992. i was eleven and the love at first sight was wonderfully woven into memory..

i know, i was young. but the story starts off with Meggie Cleary being young also.. and she falls for Father Ralph de Bricassart nonetheless, like i did :)

the address should you feel like reading more about the miniseries: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Thorn_Birds_(TV_miniseries)

here's some pix to relieve the white hot nostalgic passion i once had of the love-lorn couple~

they are the dashing (but woefully gay in real life, what a waste!) Richard Chamberlain and the willful Rachel Ward (i love her husky voice!)

                                                                                                                                                                

here's a snippet shared by the beautiful Meggie:

The day that I first saw you at the Gilly station, you smiled at me, then you said my name. Then you touched me. And since that day, I have somehow known, though I never saw you again, that my last thought this side of the grave would be of you. And there's nothing I can do to change it. Do you know how terrifying it is, that power you have over me?

it sort of echoes my passion over someone particular. the power of loving someone even though the time passes by and we are both with someone else.. that should he beckons me closer, i somehow won't be unable to walk away..

hope i'll be able to find the collection at batu feringgi... i've gotten the colleen mc cullough's book when i was perusing for books at my fave CM haunt. it was such a surprise and believe me, the series does give ample justice to the original book :)

emm, browsing for their photos do take a while :(

   

i couldn't find any other worth putting or rather PG-rated for you guys.

but i think it's a worthy wait for a 15 years of romance, don't u think?

i love mc leod's daughters!

back at home during my Dark Ages in 2004-2005, i spent a lot of time with AXN and hallmark. everyday at 1pm, channel 11 was my fave and i couldn't bear being away lest i become out of touch with the latest on-goings of McLeod's Daughters~

however, i lost touch with the delightful series since penultimate august 2005. by feb 2008, i got reacquinted and to my surprise, many things have changed. Alex Ryan had gotten married thrice. Claire Mc-Leod Ryan is nowhere to be found. tess n nick got married to be later on divorced.. ~sigh.

here's their website http://mcleodsdaughters.ninemsn.com.au/ should u feel like peeking :p

and let me introduce you to my fave girls:

Claire mc Leod Ryan is the one with the quirky smile :)

tess Mc Leod Ryan is the braided naive girl :)

and my fave couple, Mr & Mrs Nick Ryan :)

aren't they adorable?

sigh.... i think i'm gonna hunt the thornbirds pix later. what a bliss! (^^,)t