Shah's thoughts

my fave perfume!

perusing and planning for a shopping list now that my personal stuffs mostly run out of supply, i noticed that my fave perfume is rather depleting.

know what, my selection of a personal favourite perfume is rather like falling and staying in love.

you could never break away from your first love.

and i, for all my attempts at trying new scents, couldn't find it in my heart to fall in love with another scent that's not Ralph Lauren Romance.

at present, i've used three large EDP bottles of that wonderful scent. costly but rather satisfying. a signature scent for me, and none could ever be good enough.

how did i fell in love with this heavenly scintillating scent?

an ad. it's emotional, powerful and totally captivating. made me wistful.

i tried to find the pix but couldn't. so, here's the new ad for the perfume. not as earth-shattering as my fave ad, it seems pretentious, don't u think so too? but it will do until i found the pix. ok?

em, thanks to http://www.imagesdeparfums.fr/, i have found the Ad that made me use Ralph Lauren Romance till today :)

saya sangat suka gambar ni. the raw emotion displayed by Mr Cedric Jimenez stays with me until today...

cinta pertama, :">

bday saya 15 jun tau, perfume saya tu pun dah nak abis, apa kata kawan2 yg baik hati hadiahkan saya sebotol perfume ni?

saya suka!

a downtime at a fevret old place

last weekend was eventful, to say the least.

last friday i bade abang e adieu. we met at the mall's pizzahut. i brought minkus along.. much to mom's consternation..

and i found out that night that mom slipped on a wet puddles made by her playful ruffians, Adam n the gang.. she hurt her back and had been ordered for a full bed rest. life wasn't sundry at home, with dad being aloof.. i picked up the frustrations oozing from mom, yet, i couldn't do much.. at a point, i feel that i'm selfish when i choose to block out other people's emotions from causing havoc on my chaotic mind.

selfishness, that's what mak accused me of being. with my current state of constant rebellion, she was concerned that perhaps it might rub off on my young sisters. thus, she kept asking them to stay at their respective places and not go around with me, at least, not before the exam. a reasonable notion. i agree with  that. but in parts, aside of pure selfishness, i understood that these tweens are having peer problems and need to be whisked out at least to vent their frustrations..

salah ida, kan.. i wasn't being a good daughter, now i'm not being a good sister also.

rasa sedih bila pikir-pikir balik.. at this moment, i couldn't be of any good to anyone. lost.

semalam, breakfast nasi lemak telur mata kerbau menyebabkan hausmet minkus terasa hati dengan minkus. buat ida rasa bersalah.. ida tak suka susahkan orang lain. paling benci orang bergaduh, walau sekecil mana, pasal ida... minkus plak tak reti nk beralah.. i was rallying to not have the breakfast at all, tapi bila fikir minkus akan lagi terasa hati, well, kutelan juga nasi lemak tu walau terasa kesat di rengkung..

dengan hati sedikit sebu, walaupun pada mulanya malas nk ke gym, akhirnya proceed jugak.. spent 45 mins on the treadmill, melayan grey's anatomy season 2 finale. a hot shower, touch up and i was ready to go traipsing.

bumped into fahmy on my way out. oops! lupa i got appointment with him jap agi.. aduhai, rasa bersalah sangat!!

anyway, back to my story. i parked nearby masjid jame' and went to cm. the books were not that good. no JQ this time.. not even JM available. i found lisa kleypas instead and suprisingly she proved herself a good scintillating read :">

i spent half of the noon away by reading the book at the McD upper level overlooking the CM street. sipping coke n leafing through the book. no music, just the sound of the patrons' chatter accompanied me into the world of something else.

escapism never felt this decadent..

by maghrib, i managed to reach home. eventful, but thankfully, i reached home to a nice, albeit moderate, bath and a comfy sleepwear..

sigh.. i sure could do with this heavenly lone time again, a good read n a time of my own.. it's my fevret kind :)

old movies

selalunya, bila belek balik dan nonton citer lama yg penah saya gilakan dulu, contohnya: Lois & Clark, saya tergelak sendiri. punya la saya sanggup gamble studies saya dulu semata-mata nk tengok citer ni. bila dah berduwit, saya beli citer ni. dua box set yg dah almost 8 months ada kat umah saya. tapi bila saya pasang dan tengok balik, humang ai. saya malu sendiri :">

time tu teknologi sci-fi masih rendah. kualiti lakonan masih kayu dan storyline ntahapeapentah.. i mean, i cringed! but i remembered, the believable chemistry between clark n lois was the one that mattered dulu. kan?

then, i watched ever after by drew barrymore n dougray scott. opinionated, passionate and funny, the main ingredients of my fave movie. i think i've watched this for 100th times without ever feeling bored nor disenchanted.

the moment henry rejected danielle publicly at the ball, i've severed any romantical inclinations i have for him ever since. the betrayal of trust was too high a crime. even though he somewhat redeemed himself later on with such a hearfelt rendition:

i knelt before u not as a prince, but a man in love.

but i will feel like a king, should u agree to be my wife...

sigh...

anyway, here's the prime piece of my post today: out of sight by george clooney n jennifer lopez. it was on Starmovies last night and i found myself intrigued by george's smile. way before he schemed with his elevens and twelves plus thirteens, he had robbed me off my attention with this quirky love story.

even though this movie is considered an oldie by my rate, i found it timeless. coupled with george's signature laughing eyes, i think i'd always be entertained by it on any rainy day.

know what, his laughing eyes and daredevillish laidback self always remind me of MJr. i wonder why?

all in all, i think i love having Starmovies and its lot at home no.7~ it helps me get through my weekend with much pleasure :)

gave u my heart

gave u my heart

hope u'll take good care of it

the blood is still red

the passion is still strong

to u, i give my heart

take it

take care of it

for u'll never regret

i gave u my heart

and took yrs in return..

the book (and music) from the past

chartbreak by gillian cross

Came out of Birmingham with nothing.

Junked the name and face I used to wear.

When your flesh and blood don't give a damn.

Your luggage doesn't hold much from before . . .

Finch is alone in a motorway café, desperate to leave home. The scruffy lads at the next table say they're a rock band and they challenge her to show she can sing. Then and there. They annoy her so much that she does - and suddenly she's in the band.

They're on the way to fame, but the band is dominated by the brooding menace of Christie, the lead singer. Finch can't make up her mind how she feels about him.

Is it hate - or something else . . . ?

-> i remembered this book fondly. it was one of my fave back in high school. being a misunderstood teen, rebellious and all that hooplas-

and in true account of my past, this book reminds me so much of no doubt's tragic kingdom album. the finch-christie characters do echo gwen-tony relationship so much.. i mean, being inspired by the same energy, it is only fitting that they feel the strong bond to each other..

this is the cover of the hippie days- i admit, now and then, i got the twinge listening to don't speak, D dedicated the song to me when we're estranged, back in year 1998...

"Don't Speak" by no doubt

You and me
We used to be together
Everyday together always
I really feel
That I'm losing my best friend
I can't believe
This could be the end
It looks as though you're letting go
And if it's real
Well I don't want to know

Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts

Our memories
Well, they can be inviting
But some are altogether
Mighty frightening
As we die, both you and I
With my head in my hands
I sit and cry

Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts (no, no, no)
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts

It's all ending
I gotta stop pretending who we are...
You and me I can see us dying...are we?

Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts (no, no, no)
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts
Don't tell me cause it hurts!
I know what you're saying
So please stop explaining

Don't speak,
don't speak,
don't speak,
oh I know what you're thinking
And I don't need your reasons
I know you're good,
I know you're good,
I know you're real good
Oh, la la la la la la La la la la la la
Don't, Don't, uh-huh Hush, hush darlin'
Hush, hush darlin' Hush, hush
don't tell me tell me cause it hurts
Hush, hush darlin' Hush, hush darlin'
Hush, hush don't tell me tell me cause it hurts

maybe i am born a loner... oh,well.

teringat jalan pegi mengaji

as i was typing away my verbatim, tetiba teringat jalan yang dah lama tak diredahi sejak kecil dulu...

dulu masa kecil kena pegi mengaji Quran dengan tokcik di hujung baruh. sekarang ni tokcik dah takde. masa dia meninggal beberapa tahun dulu, kebetulan di kampung, sempat melawat..

teringat dulu jalan batas parit, dengan basikal atau sekadar berjalan kaki pergi mengaji.. andai jalan lecak, akan gunakan jalan atas, lalu depan rumah ma abang wan, shortcut depan kedai runcit, terus ke rumah tokcik. dulu kalau jagung masak, tokcik akan jual jagung rebus, 30 sen setongkol.

tokcik tak suka kitorang tengok tv. dia kata bila kitorang tengok peti tong tu, nanti bengap mengaji. betul jugak apa yang dia kata. bila astro dah pasang kat rumah, mengaji Quran pun dah jarang.

ida rindu meniti batas parit tu. sekarang dah jadi jalan tar lebar. tak lecak-lecak lagi. kalau banjir pun air tak tinggi mana. jalan atas yang ada short cut tu, rasanya short cut tu dah bersemak hutan rimba. when i was small, it's like a bushy path that suddenly opens up to a very wide open field. bila banjir, air naik, nampak macam tasik.

jalan tu la yang ida lalu kalu nk ke rumah shima or narimi. which was not often. <- kena duduk rumah jaga adik.

masih teringat azhar dan abang dia menahan ida nk ke sekolah petang. my bike was small, they held it fast so that i couldn't escape. with a knife upon my nose, they threatened me, telling me to ask Abang E not to report on them to the headmistress.

i shrugged them off. calling them bluff. even at the age of nine, I HATE BULLIES! i dragged my bike off and never looked back. i think, as far as i remember, i didn't tell Abang E about it. i never cried. and i don't recall shaking in fear. but the incident shall remain deep in my head as a remembrance. a scar down the dusty road.

there are times when people commented that i am too brave, or simply too stupid to undermine the threats. well, truthfully, i have no other option. this is my life. i have to take care of myself for i have none that is willing to care. i survive by not thinking about the threats, the risks. i just live and not mind about others.. i just cycle away, obliterating any ounce of fear that i should have felt.

today, i felt like i am still much like the same old girl that cycled away 18 years ago~

tetiba je rasa sayu plak :(

loitering at the office, missing Qayyim dreadfully~

we got the orders to stay put at the office tonight, in preparation for tomorrow's super important announcement.

the camaraderie here is evident, the staffs and officers are chatting merrily with each other, whiling away the time.

me? i'm in my room no.7, surfing and blogging. not much of a people's person, am i? hmmm... given times, i could bear being with crowds, yet, other times, i'd rather be in much, much private environment.

i'm recalling my dear beloved Qayyim. i thought that he did have his exam today and that i didn't have the time to wish him best of luck. as i spent 20 mins talking to him just after maghrib, i found out that his exams were post-poned. talk about getting lucky, right?

i miss having him around. and he miss being here too.....

this is definitely not his pix, in case you guys wonder :p

even though i admit that his cute self does resemble this lil' monkey.

my Qayyim is a good person. his sense of humor is razor-sharp and i simply adore having him around. we're both moody and temperamental. yet we understood each other so well...

i know, i miss him a lot. coming home to an empty space, imagining him tinkering with harry potter's book in his hand, us discussing malaysian politics and hp logics in the same breath, God, i miss him!

...

hope he's well at home. till next time, i'll wait until we're reunited again~

bila hp saya jatuh dalam toilet :(

em, dah banyak kali saya mempunyai masalah dengan hp-hp saya.. teringat post kak klynn on her lists of hp. adakah patut saya wiki-wiki gambar hp-hp saya yang lepas dan reminisce balik apa yang telah berlaku kepada hp-hp ittew?

hmm.. boleh tu boleh, but i think i lost count already :blush:

apapun, i think i can start with airing grievances i endure when i have to make do with mah's spare phone instead.

1. i lost access to valuable phone numbers n other important info
2. i had to rely on familiar numbers i had memorised all these years. namely, mom's, dad's, home, kak aida's and little else. even Abang's number is hazy nowadays, i couldn't recall the right combination.
3. i don't have the luxury of listening to wonderful music anywhere i go..
4. i don't have access to photography facilities
5. i have to familiarised myself with mah's polyphonic ringing tone. though i swear, i could never get used to it ever!
6. i felt less inclined to be on the phone with anyone
7. i miss my nokia 3610 DREADFULLY!

I think seven aggrievances are enough. kawan-kawan, kindly sms me yr numbers. i need to type it into a computerised datasheet lest this malady happened again in the next future.

boohooo! i'm terribly upset. *o*

my long time fave ~ the thornbirds

The title refers to a mythical bird that searches for thorn trees from the day it is hatched. When it finds the perfect thorn, it impales itself, singing the most beautiful song ever heard as it dies.

em, i first chanced upon The Thornbirds mini-series during my brief stay in JB in year 1992. i was eleven and the love at first sight was wonderfully woven into memory..

i know, i was young. but the story starts off with Meggie Cleary being young also.. and she falls for Father Ralph de Bricassart nonetheless, like i did :)

the address should you feel like reading more about the miniseries: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Thorn_Birds_(TV_miniseries)

here's some pix to relieve the white hot nostalgic passion i once had of the love-lorn couple~

they are the dashing (but woefully gay in real life, what a waste!) Richard Chamberlain and the willful Rachel Ward (i love her husky voice!)

                                                                                                                                                                

here's a snippet shared by the beautiful Meggie:

The day that I first saw you at the Gilly station, you smiled at me, then you said my name. Then you touched me. And since that day, I have somehow known, though I never saw you again, that my last thought this side of the grave would be of you. And there's nothing I can do to change it. Do you know how terrifying it is, that power you have over me?

it sort of echoes my passion over someone particular. the power of loving someone even though the time passes by and we are both with someone else.. that should he beckons me closer, i somehow won't be unable to walk away..

hope i'll be able to find the collection at batu feringgi... i've gotten the colleen mc cullough's book when i was perusing for books at my fave CM haunt. it was such a surprise and believe me, the series does give ample justice to the original book :)

emm, browsing for their photos do take a while :(

   

i couldn't find any other worth putting or rather PG-rated for you guys.

but i think it's a worthy wait for a 15 years of romance, don't u think?