Shah's thoughts

after a night of imsonia

last night was a torture. i fell asleep for almost an hour, feeling out of sorts.

drunk a cup of potent coffee to help me go through the pekeliling. up till 4, i finally finished the review. and found myself suffering mtv imsonia. unable to sleep, no matter how i twist and turn. i watched house to while the time but to no avail. he's too much distracting.

i tried reading the unputdownable anne stuart's into the fire, lagi imsonia jadinyer, huhuhu. ralit :p

by 5, i really couldn't endure it anymore, paksa diri, tutup tv n pejamkan mata. only to woke up by 530 when kak asidah left for darusshifa'. later, terbangun lagi kol 615 when my alarm went off. lastly, bangun kol 720. shweet!!

as a result, my head is thumping, my punch card lewat 9 minit. and i really need my sleep!

what i did on my sunday break this week

last sunday, i spent most of it with kak, hanging around home no.7, doing almost nothing in particular.

waking up early ( from usual typical lazy sunday morning ) when i heard kak's tinkering in the kitchen. dia masak nasi rupanya. pasal semalam dia tak makan apa, roti sy dah abis. bila dia tahu cili api pun abis, terus dia abandon her breakfast making.

even though i prepared scrumptious nasi goreng sotong yang presentable, dia tak makan. instead, kak menghabiskan tempura nuggets n keropok instant.

after a very delightful brunch that i took extra time to decorate nicely a la the naked chef,  i have a short nap. kak pun sama.. dia sibuk membelek hot mags yang lama2.. bosan tapi malas nk merayap ke alamanda. kak tak ajak, ida lagi la..

sekarang ni observing deficit-handling measures stringently. calculating, not to the extent of penny-pinching (a bit, actually), but i'm exercising economy control. tempat2 menarik seperti alamanda, mines, tesco, giant ioi dsb perlulah dielakkan. i noticed that i've the tendency to splurge whenever i go to hypermarket. bak kata2 sinis:

lelaki membayar RM20 untuk barang keperluan bernilai RM10

perempuan bayar RM10 untuk barang yg tak diperlukan bernilai RM20

so, i am still in the process of abstaining myself. of learning to control the limited power of my CC. so far, i've noticed a distinct improvement. alhamdulillah.

but, kesannya, almost not enough instant food around home no.7.. no maggi, no roti, no cili api, no meat, no fish, no prawns, no sotong.. no, no, no. balik2 makan instant mashed potato yg masih berbaki. tupun nasib baik ada lagi stok2 yg enak dan boleh dimakan :p

perhaps in a bit, i'll try to spend more, despite the deficit n inflation. otherwise, mcm kerajaan jugak, kalu simpan duit je tanpa perbelanjaan pembangunan, ekonomi jadi lesu.

huhu.. tetiba cakap pasal ekonomi negara plak.

anyway, after taking my nap, i finished a rather tasteless read. bosan gila. dah la type-set novel tu kurang sesuai, jalan citer pun macam kureng je. i mean, these days, the more i read, the more predictable the lines became. i need something new. like JQ's books, they are full of surprises, intrigues, clever lines & quips. cuma, last time pegi cm, all are already taken. rasa disappointed plak. next time, hopefully nomore duds.

yesterday was worth mentioning that i settled the most of the laundry and did some melipat baju, an activity that i truly detest! then, by 7, i ironed the baju kurungs for this week.

by 745, supposed dah kua tapi kak plak terhegeh-hegeh. agaknya dia reluctant utk sampai umah kawan dia awal sangat. but what to do? i have an appointment at 830, ok! kat pj plak tu!

by 815 kitorang gerak, as kak was driving, dia pi singgah kat petronas p9d tu. kebetulan plak husband-nyer di kk menalipon. aduhai... sambil dia memilih makanan, sambil bergelak-ketawa dan bercinta-cintaan. bikin my temper broiling hot saja!

last2, 10 minit tak sudah2 lagi memilih makanan, ida kua masuk kedai mesra tu, trying my best not to throw a tantrum in public, and levelly informed her that i have an appointment by 830. baru dia cepat2 sikit. marah!

masa drive, silent ensued. memang takde mood bcos this time i've done my best to get ready early. my trainer dah sound sebelum ni, kenapa selalu lambat appointment? i mean, i don't like giving excuses. sometimes i need to resort to white lies sedangkan i needn't do that. time is always an issue. bab membawa rasa dengan salimah pun pasal masa. i really DETEST those who make light of MY time.

bosan.

anyway, i found out that working out with rage inside made me a better trainee. rasa lega dapat hilangkan rasa marah by venting the frustrations on the thread mills. i mean, i felt less inclined to be vocal of my rage n annoyance. instead, i transformed it into the energy to jog non-stop for 15 mins without having the need to slow the pace. mind u, i was terribly enraged.

by 10.30 siap. set further appointments. then off to mandi hot shower, nikmatnya! added with the luxurious Ralph Lauren Romance Shower Creme, rasa energised.

singgah mcD for a small french fries n minkus fave apple pie. i don't know why but i've been hankering for McD's frenchies since last week. not even kfc or other fastfoods can match such hankering..

btw, i totally disliked the looks the guys gave as i walked to the mcD outlet. okay la, my blood red body-hugging top left nothing much to imagination. my suede capri pants compliment the casual look, though, sobering the effect of over expose. yet, i felt it was too much even for a tudung clad girl. i shouldn't do that again, i promise.

after having supper of frenchies n banana-filled pie, i dropped by at minkus' house. passing her facial wash, nasi goreng n her fave apple pie, i drove off.

reached home nearly by 12. hujan lebat sepanjang jalan. tried to sleep but maid in manhattan was too much too resist, weird huh? i don't know why i watched sampai abis, given that i know the movie was a dud.

after that, grey's rerun. tengok jugak sambil menyemak paper hari ahad. memandangkan dah almost 230 am, paksa gak diri utk tido...

all in all, it was a restive, though rather tepid sunday break..

what i did on my sunday break

yesterday i woke up early even though it was sunday and i had no prior engagement.

made an english breakfast: mushroom soup, mashed potato n garlic toast. read the newspapers, watched tv and yes, i refreshed my acquaintance with Lois & Clark: the new adventures of Superman. memandangkan citer tersebut dibuat pada tahun 90-an, banyak elemen2 yang menyebabkan saya tergelak dengan naivety saya dan Lady D time kitorang form 2 & form 3 dulu... die-hard fans gile, but i admit, L&C pushed me into working hard for my PMR exams. and it surely brought me n D close. incorporating multi-tasking, i ironed my baju kurungs whilst watching the dvds. fortunately for me, Qayyim had adjusted the ironing table in such a way that i could sit down and leisurely iron the apparels.

anyways, early dinner was mee goreng pedas Adabi, i was too lazy to cook.

then, i went to jaya33 after mr hanafi, my new trainer informed me that our appointment had been set at 8pm, not 9pm. i was rushing and thankfully the traffic wasn't that bad. paperpun, he penalised me for that. we only had 30mins training session whilst the remaining 30mins, i had to undergo cardio session on my own. pergh! i jogged 15 mins, alternating it with 15 mins of brisk walking. it was a torture as my body, remembering its past torture, kept screaming for a reprieve. even though i felt like quitting, i trudged on.

apepun, having the warm shower afterwards surely revitalised me into having a McD date with fatin (aka Minkus) with her maklang (aka Ja). we had a very delightful supper. sharing refilled carbonated drinks, chicken wrap and french fries amidst lively conversation. simply wonderful!

and ami bought for me the new hp. i haven't opened it yet. it's cheap, will make do for a while. lagipun, given the ample time and enough budget, i shall see to it that my former Nokia will see its much needed doctor. till that time comes, i have to make do, ok!

em, talking about hp, well, i'd say, i'm not a person you shall cross when i am cross. for i have a very ugly temper, given the situation and slight provocation. i think, it applies to my PPTs and younger sisters. when i muttered "shut up!", it must be obeyed. otherwise, we'll come to the point where we shall regret.

in my recent case, it was salimah's misfortune that brought her to such regretful end. when the sleep-deprived me bogged down with headache and simply hot temper, was denied my peace from her annoying self, i simply dealt her a physical blow and piercing emotional jabs that sent her reeling, sobbing whilst continuing the emotional jabs of her own.

i admit. i wasn't much of a good person if i chose to be horrid. too much of my own selfish self, i regret.

she sent me an sms last night, admonishing me and my previous injustice to her self. and i decided, her psychological tactics were too much to bear, i ignored it. for this time, even though i was wrong to strike her, i decided i won't be bullied into placating her anymore. she needs to grow up and learn to not put demands on anyone else, taking people for granted.

i admit, saya masih marah sama dia.

and then, Qayyim's sms came. how sweet.. tetiba je jadi sedih. sendiri.

adieu, dearest Qayyim

ayin left home no.7 this morning....

in a part, i lost my heart to hug him good bye.

till, we meet again, dearest.

making use of the opportunity given

ayin is staying with me until saturday morning. horay!!

but in a part, felt a bit frustrated pasal tak dapat bawa dia jalan-jalan jauh sikit. asyik lepak umah je. nasib baik every morning sempat masak something untuk dia makan whilst i'm away.

it's a matter of budget burst. otherwise i'd feel much livelier having him around. everything these days seems to cost a bit of money, don't you think so too? i mean, even hanging around at mamak stalls will cost you RM20 inclusive of transportation cost.

as a solution, before scourging to hentian kajang for his bus ticket last night, we had our simple dinner first at home. cukuplah sekadar rasa kenyang. at these dire times, baru perasan yang yours truly ni ada jugak bakat kakajie in trimming the budget, huhu...

all in all, i'm becoming more resolute with my financial management. it comes to a point where i couldn't ignore it anymore. perhaps as i'm venturing forth in the maturity section, i thought much of it in a much soberer attitude.

true, life is not as extravagant as in Bahagian Istiadat. yet i am thankful of the humbling opportunity for me to much grow up and experience life as it is: humbling.

it's not that i'm going to become an Auntie Scrooge anytime soon. it's just that i will take much consideration of my financial budget.

perhaps bulan ni skimmed because i traveled home by MAS for the election, i spent a bit (huh!) on comfort materials (warmer coat, comforter, spring mattress etc), covered RM 800 for quarters alone dan macam - macam lagi la.

sape la nak contribute tabung duit utk ida simpan duit banyak sikit. mintak dengan yamin pun menarik gak, tapi rasa nk mintak dengan isi-isi tabung tu sekali, hahahahah..

apapun, it's a matter of self-discipline. of being stern with yourself and pre-planning.

this month's pay pun rasa akan terjejas jugak, another RM 800 for quarters alone. what with IKEA being on sale, i sure need that RM 80 throw for home no.7's sofa!!! and i sure need to replenish the depleting resources in the fridge. just essentials la, nothing major.

i promise, my VISA and its delectable frens, MC and AMEX, shall be tucked safely home for a while. maybe until next year :(

apapun, hidup mesti terus, kan? em, agak2 hono RM 2k tu dapat tak untuk kakitangan awam after keputusan PRU 12 yang mengujatkan semua orang ni ek? is Mr. Gov punitive or placating, i wonder?

hopefully placating. then, i'll have the opportunity to bounce back into grace. hopefully.

co-habitation: the next step of maturity, perhaps?

what co - habitation means to me: sharing a place to stay with someone.

after suffering a torrential tsunami in terms of my financial matters this month, i opened myself on ways to trim my budget and decisively carve a way for better financial management. somehow, besides of giving up the ultimate controlling power of my domain, i decided that i could get use to another fellow being. even though a big part of me somehow reluctant of the privacy breach, i decided that i will learn to tolerate, to endure and to compensate.

i admit, i am rather hostile to personal privacy sharing. physical exposure is a bit too much for me. yet, i have to coach myself to learn to share. besides, the company shared will be a chicken soup to my soul. other than mopping around alone on weekends and at normal nights, i'll have someone tolerable to live with.

after all, we both have been alone on our own for quite sometimes. sharing a place together, hopefully, shall be a fresh air for a change.

em, home no.7 shall start its rearranging tonight. with dear ayin at home, at least, i'll have extra pair of hands.. besides, ayin is self-acclaimed interior designer, he'll know what's needed to be done (^^,)t

yup. i think everything shall be much better after this. i won't be too alone anymore, insya Allah.

Kak Asidah,

home no.7 shall welcome you this 15th..

and for less than two months, m&d's room will be my temporary room.. a rather wise move now that the mattress were already delivered yesterday :p

happy bday dear salimah!

last night kak nor asidah spent the night at home no.7~ it was the first for her. as the guest room was not ready to be occupied yet, i gave her m&d's room. we later on had dunia baru treat at mines before retiring home :)

hmm.. i really should consider getting the double decker bed pronto. setting up the guest room seem to be taking a bigger priority in my budget planning.

hmmm, talking about budget, today is mah's 20th bday.. malas la nk celebrate besar-besaran as my gaji belum masuk. budget yang ada cuma sipi-sipi je.. however, a young girl's fervent wish is too much to be let down.. as a young girl once, whose adolescent dreams were squashed one by one, i really hope i can give her a day to remember...

hope to God that everything goes well today. i still don't have firm plans on today's celebration. mungkin pasal semuanya bergantung pada budget yg ada...

apapun, i'm going to pick her up at usim in a short while. after that, we will spend a moment at nilai square, i need to find kain shantong silk apentah for majlis angkat sumpah ahli jemaah menteri nanti. harap2 tak mahal sangat as my budget is sorely limited.

then we'll proceed for a sauna stint at true fitness. maybe after that we'll go for a chickenhartz binge at berjaya times square, fufu~

later on, after fetching minkus, we'll need to pick up kak and abang azuan at kl sentral by 8pm.

life is much wonderful if we strive to have us and those we loves happy. :)

cooking for breakfast at work

minus the pix of my bfast today, though :(

this morning terlewat satu minit for work after spending almost 10 mins preparing kuetiaw soup for breakfast at office..

next time, i'll make sure the soup is ready and left to stew overnight. bila pagi senang je la kalu nk campak2 main ingredients.

hmm :)

i'm learning to manage my home management just like mak used to do before when she was still working.

sebelum tido mesti dia dah siapkan the ingredients dulu: kuah nasi lemak, kuah kacang nasi kapit, pes nasi goreng etc bangun pagi before mandi, tanak nasi lemak, goreng mi dll~

once ida or kakjie dah siap for school, we'll take over to prepare the sidelines: keropok, potong nasi kapit etc

sigh, i really love being domesticated at home no.7 :) moreover, it saves the budget for food tremendously.

do compare:

homemade brunch -> kuetiaw soup:

quarter of kuetiaw ~ 25 sen

quarter of sup siam adabi paste ~ 20 sen

few dried taufu ~ 10 sen

sawi leaves ~ 10 sen

bits of dried prawns ~ 5 sen

an egg ~ 30 sen

2pcs of chilli ~ 5 sen

total cost ~ RM 1.05

compared to nasi lemak or nasi goreng bought at the cafe, i might have to fork out RM 2 perday, just for breakfast.

so there, i think home cooking is essential and budget saving. i might have to plan the menu ahead, though. otherwise, i might be bored having to prepare the similar menus everyday. variety does work wonders :)

here are the summary points:

1. plan the menu ahead. variety is important!
2. stock up the fridge with essential ingredients, almost like a wish list, if i may say so:
   • chicken bits
   • daging kisar
   • bawang kisar
   • cili
   • pes sup
   • sayur hijau
   • cili kisar
   • mi/ bihun/ kuetiaw
   • udang/ sotong
   • garlic butter
   • peanut butter
   • anchovies
   • spaggetti sauce
   • mushroom
   • garam/ gula/ kiub ayam
3. prepare the important ingredients overnight
4. get the tupperware clean & ready overnight
5. wake up early! 7.25 is the latest time i have to leave home no.7  >:(

i think those are the notes i have to execute shall i wish for myself to be fully organized. after all, the OCD people do have their life planned to the miniscule details, right?

oohh.. i love cooking!

things to buy for home no.7 once the honorarium clears :)

call me anything you like, but i AM undeniably motherish when it comes to dote on my home no.7 :)

here's my wish list for home no.7  v(^o^)v

1. microwave (cost ~ RM 900)
2. one lounge chaise chair with small coffee table (~ RM 50) for the balcony
3. vacuum cleaner (~ RM 200) this one already got, cost me RM 130
4. queen mattress for mom&dad's room (~ RM 250) this one already got last week, cost me RM 288
5. complete spoon sets (~ RM 20) already got, though not bought in sets. cost me RM 25
6. two genuine queen comforter sets (~ RM 200) already got for ~ RM 100. nomore please. not this year, by any rate. nomore appropriate storing space :(
7. six japanese table cushions (~ RM 60)
8. plush tv carpet (~ RM 80)
9. double decker beds for guest room (~ RM 300)
10. two bags' tree stands, one for me, one for mom&dad's (~ RM90)
11. newspaper basket (~ RM15) already got for a sensible RM6. now already overflowing.
12. 24pc food canister sets (~ RM15) already gotten 2 sets for RM 30. i'm greedy, thankyouverymuch
13. massage chair for dad (~ RM 5,000)

i think, it's enough for now.. nanti kalau ada idea, ida tambah lagi, hihihi :)

perhaps by putting it in words, immortalise it in some way or another, the impulses, the crazy impulses, will be able to be controlled with flourish. successfully.

em, i'm going to continue with other wish lists :)

ikea graces home no.7~

in spirit of preparing for her first homewarming party scheduled soon in february, home no.7 shelters newcomers from ikea mutiara damansara.

u know, here's a new equation:

ikea + home no.7 = CC that rips!

joined with abang E and dkin, the infamous connoiseurs regarding this matter, i ended up ripping my Visa. and i still haven't got that wonderful coffee table worth RM 185. simply because there's no room to maneuver within jef.

terpaksalah melawat ikea di bulan hadapan, eh?

all in all, kesimpulannya:

ikea + shahidah = puas hati :)

the door won't budge!

in relationships, often we find time of adjustment a bit unbearable.

me and home no. 7 is of no exception.

the day before, mom n dad's door refused to budge open. arggghhhh.. with almost all my baju kurungs, tudungs and iron inside, i am now using anything available at the ampaian. ironless.

bila balik umah, rasa frust gila. try the knob, useless. try external force, also can't. i haven't mastered the art of picking up the lock, so no, i cannot get m & d's door to open.

anyone can find me a Superman? i need his brute strength to open this so stubborn fella!

of course, there is the alternative of calling the developer's maintainance men, but they are only available during working hours and u know me, i clock extra working hours, beyond theirs.

semalam terfikir macam best je kalu ada maid aka bibik kat umah kan? main order je nk makan apa, balik pick up je. umah kemas, bersih, balik umah pun ada teman bercakap dan bercerita. ehhh.. macam pernah berlaku saja perkara sebegini, hihihihi.. ayin, mah, minkus, korang mesti rasa perkara sebegini penah berlaku kat korang kan? huhu!

pastu terfikir gak, teringat citer jepun pasal sorang working woman yang memelihara seorang lelaki yg amnesiac dengan syarat that guy berlakon jadi lapdog dia sebagai ganti dia izinkan lelaki tu duduk dengan dia. i know, citer ni macam ridiculous.. tapi bila fikir2 balik, fantasi begitu macam best pulak time2 penat berfikir ni.

best kan, kalu kita dapat apa yg kita harap, sebaik-baiknya?

and yes,

home no.7, kindly persuade m&d's door to open, please!

the romance of mom and dad

i know that this post might hit me bad once i got home tonight to an empty home no.7~

but i guess, i would love to put into record of how much home no.7 has helped the romance of mom n dad lingers true...

the signage of mom & dad's room is already pasted on the right door. it is romantic and simple. having this pix of mom n dad back in year 2002, i think.. whenever we watch it, it made us smile :)

i am thankful to home no.7~ it's a place where mom and dad will have their much needed privacy to be alone and close to each other...

if i remember correctly, mom dan dad stayed with tokkibi's family at hiliran. there was no option of being alone for themselves two as the kids soon followed. once it was too crowded, dad moved us to losong and we stayed there ever since, keeping on growing until little adam and the clans arrived.

last night, they were putting on the holy verses up the thick, hard wall. i was not there, but from the giggles of minkus and mah, it was surely funny to have witnessed mom supporting dad's bums as he shook, drilling the stubborn wall.

sigh~~~

such romance that perseveres the toils and perils of life is surely admirable, don't u think?

as to now, mom and dad are still languidly having their R&R at home no.7, whilst i sit here and try my damnest to squash down my deepest wish to be back at home with them...

home no.7, thank you.

home no.7 welcomes mom n dad~

seeing that i ramble a lot on home no.7, i decided that a new category shall be put forth..

mom has graced home no.7 yesterday. the first thing she noticed, it's indeed spacious!

hmmm... she loves the mr.bean window. the beautiful balcony. the rooms. the built-in kitchen cabinets. the spacious 4-door cupboards.

she checked the huge fridge, the tv, the washing machine etc and she estimated the costs. typical of mom, and i love her anyway :p

the one thing she felt inadequate is the sprinkling shower and sink. not so generous as at puchong before..

that one i agreed. it's the one lacking that i first really missed.

all in all, she likes it here :)

dad's coming tonight. hope he approves of the rooms' selection. the master bedroom belongs to mom and dad. the second room, a guest room which also acts as storage room until i sorted all my belongings.

and my room: the room no.3 as i like it there. smallest, yet most comfortable and adequate.

i haven't decide on what i like best about home no.7. i'm just pleased that it's mine.

alhamdulillah~