Shah's thoughts

adieu, shah's thoughts~

i know that sometimes i made abrupt decisions. coming and leaving as i see fit. saying love yous only to pick up everything and just flee. i think i'm done here, fellow readers.

at some point in my life, i did something drastic to severe the ties that made me unable to move forth with clean slate. and this, parting from you guys, being away is one of it. else, i'd remain much a teenager though i have already reached my 27 years of age.

there might be moments when i shall drop by again. the spotlight-hugging writer in me shall always be hunkering to write off something, right.

oh ya, talking about this, i sometimes wonder why did i publish these somewhat kooky thoughts for everyone to read? sometimes it's for myself, to remind me of what had happened and what shouldn't ( i have a very short term memory, ok?) and sometimes i could feel that u guys think i'm hogging the limelight.. kan?

the truth is, i love to write. there are so many stories, words, nonsensical thoughts that often scream to be out there and shared. maybe not many of you read my jots, angsty or hilarious (i wish!) they could be sometimes. but i still love to write. to talk. to share. walaupun penulisan itu mungkin akan menimbulkan prejudis atau prekonsepsi, terpulang. do bear in mind, there's a lot that was left unsaid. sebagai manusia yg masih dipantau dan tulisan2 ini oleh dijadikan bahan bukti, i have to put on hold some of the things that i wanted to share. so, you may form your ideas on me, that i could be so pathetic when it comes to my pseudo-Boyfriend or darn ungrateful when i became cruella, well, it's just a spectrum of the whole me.

adieu. i would miss this spot..

wanted rawks!

before i start with my personal take on this mind-blowing movie, here's a plot summary:

"Wanted" tells the tale of one apathetic nobody's transformation into an unparalleled enforcer of justice. In 2008, we're introduced to a hero for a new generation: 25 year old employed slacker, WESLEY GIBSON. Wes is the most disaffected, cube-dwelling, clock-punching drone this planet has ever known. His boss chews him out hourly, his girlfriend ignores him routinely, and his life plods on in interminable boredom and routine. Everyone knows this disengaged slacker will amount to absolutely nothing, and so does he, until he meets the sexy, foxy woman named FOX, and then everything changes. Wes' estranged father is murdered, and the deadly Fox recruits him into The Fraternity, a secret society that trains him to avenge his father's death, by unlocking his dormant powers. And oh boy does he have powers, as she teaches Wes how to develop his lightning-quick reflexes and phenomenal agility, he discovers that The Fraternity lives by an ancient, unbreakable code: to carry out the death orders given by emotionless Fate itself. Wes, with his wickedly brilliant and sexy tutor, plus the paternal guidance of The Fraternity's enigmatic leader, SLOAN, young Wes grows to enjoy all the strength and success he ever wanted. But, slowly, he realizes there's more to his dangerous associates than meets the casual eye. And, as he wavers between new found heroism and vengeance, Wes will come to learn what no one can ever teach him; that he alone controls his destiny.

"no you hang up" by Shayne Ward

walaupun kebanyakan lagu Shayne Ward macam cheesy, saya suka lagu ni..

You got my attention at hello

We had this connection that wouldn’t let go

There was something sexy ‘bout your voice

Anything you say makes a beautiful noise

And now we break up to make up right away

Just an excuse to lay in bed all day

I know that this thing we have won't ever change

And that’s why I have the confidence to say

CHORUS:

A lot of girls are sexy

but you know how to use it

You can keep me up on the phone all night

We say lets hang up on 3 but we don’t ever do it

Aint it crazy how after all this time

We got that you hang up no you hang up kinda love

We got that you hang up no you hang up kinda love

Verse:

Every time you call me, I wont lie

I still get the goosebumps I felt the first time

That I saw you walk into a room

Girl you hand me hooked on that beautiful view

And now we break up to make up right away

Just an excuse to lay in bed all day

I know that this thing we have wont ever change

And that’s why I have the confidence to say

CHORUS:

A lot of girls are sexy

but you know how to use it

You can keep me up on the phone all night

We say lets hang up on 3 but we don’t ever do it

Aint it crazy how after all this time

We got that you hang up no you hang up kinda love

We got that you hang up no you hang up kinda love

Bridge:

And baby you still know just how to

Blow my mind

After everything that we’ve been through

It still feels right

And I know, that I can’t

Picture living my life without you

CHORUS:

A lot of girls are sexy

but you know how to use it

You can keep me up on the phone all night

We say lets hang up on 3 but we don’t ever do it

Aint it crazy how after all this time

We got that you hang up no you hang up kinda love

We got that you hang up no you hang up kinda love

-> cam comel je kan?

made of honour

read ahead for these 2 movies:

1. made of honor

2. the happening

i thought of jotting also on a movie that i watched on ASTRO but for a moment of lapse, i lost it there. so there shall be only 2 stories la. korang tak kisah kan?

made of honour didn't rub me in the rightest way. it's ok but the fizzy chemistry wasn't there. other than the companiability and token honesty that they shared, i honestly couldn't figure out what appeals most about the guy. as for hannah, i can see why. she gots quality there, and she's smart, sensitive and easy on the eyes. in this movie, i love the part where he takes care of her, buying coffee and knowing her favourites as she does him. also, the part where they spent the Sundays together, doing whimsical things that only they can do it comfortably together.

em, i edit later bleh. got to go for lunch!

ok, sambung balik. walaupun takde idea. pelan-pelan la ek. pasal lately rasa movies tu cam kurang kick. malas nak komen lebih-lebih..

here's a synopsis shared by wiki-wiki on this movie:

Tom(Patrick Dempsey) and Hannah (Michelle Monaghan) met in college when he accidentally slipped in her bed thinking she was her roommate. He was impressed how feisty and honest she was. He always had girls flinging themselves at him but Hannah was against all that.

10 years later on, Tom is successful in life. He's become wealthy from his invention of the "coffee collar", has plenty of guy friends to hang with, a new girl every week, and his one best friend. From the very start it's obvious this best friend is crazy about him and he takes her for granted. They go to antique stores together and guess each other desserts at a famous bakery.

One day, Hannah goes to Scotland on an acquisition trip for her museum (though still manages to spend 4 out of her 6 weeks there sight seeing) and Tom realises he feels empty without her. All the girls he goes out with while she is gone complain about the antiques store or can't even play the dessert guessing game. Tom decides to tell Hannah his feelings and ask her to be with him when she returns in six weeks.

As Tom gains his courage to ask her to be his partner, he finds out Hannah has become engaged to a wealthy man, Colin, in Scotland and plans to move there. Hannah asks Tom to be her "maid" of honor and he agrees so he can try to win Hannah back and stop the wedding. Tom decides to be the best maid of honor he possibly can be. He wants to show Hannah that she really doesn't know Colin all that well and that it was a mistake getting engaged so quickly. Hannah reveals that she is going to move to Scotland to be with Colin.

While in Scotland, Tom plans to tell Hannah he loves her. At a chance break during the hen party, they share a passionate kiss, then break away. Hannah then gets whisked off by her bridesmaids.

That night, Hannah goes up to Tom's room to talk to him. But before she arrives, Hannah's cousin, who Tom broke up with, comes into Tom's room and attempts to seduce him. Hannah walks in right as Hannah's cousin is on top of Tom. Tom and Hannah have an argument, and Tom leaves for home.

But on his way, he decides to stop the wedding. On horseback (borrowing a horse in exchange for part of his coffee collar royalties) he makes it to the chapel just in time, and kisses Hannah, who decides to cancel the marriage and marry Tom.

that simply simplifies it, kan? except that i was fighting myself to be awake all the while. tu la pasal bila filem tamat, saya pi beli tiket untuk tengok citer the happening walaupun waktu makin lewat..

entertaining parents part Uno

it wasn't easy being an only child, no? the fact that you have to prepare yourselves physically, mentally and financially before you brace all the tests that come in the form of 2 persons that had raised you from childhood until you become what you are now. mencabar utk jadi lebih sabar dan attentive.

kan?

the previous weekend till this wednesday morning, i had devoted myself to entertain my parents and younger siblings that came to stay a while at home no.7. terus terang cakap, many of my routine and r&r plans got to be pushed backward to accommodate them. in fact, penat seyhh! time table full dari siang ke malam. bagi individu yang sentiasa dibiarkan seorang, adjustment yg bukan sedikit diperlukan..

i'm not trying to be cruella here. far from it. in fact, i am trying NOT to be cruella. walaupun ada sikit2 suara jahat menggila, masih tahu tempat letak diri sebelum diperingatkan ibu.. bukan mudah untuk jadi ibu bapa. banyak pengorbanan yg telah ayah ibu laksanakan tanpa bertanya panjang. nak duit? nak daftar asrama? nak itu? nak ini? seharusnya jadi malu sendiri andai cruella masih berseloka lancang.

kan?

anyway, penat tu tetap penat. cuma hati berbakti diikhlaskan sedalam mungkin. nak buat camne, buat masa ini saya seorang sahaja emissary family yg berkemudahan lengkap utk menerima dan membantu sanak saudara yg ramai. in fact, i think, i should just rename home no.7 to a more appropriate lodging name :)

all in all, let me brief you of my off days. i picked Mak, Put and Ayah at LCCT on the Saturday morning. mah and syuhada was to come later. even though Mak suggested we proceeded straight to Alamanda, Ayah asked us to get home first for breakfast. they had rushed for the KT-KL flight that he didn't even get to drink coffee and have proper breakfast. so home no.7 it was. had a scrumptious breakfast and then after chitchatting, a short nap in the afternoon. by evening, mah and Syuhada arrived, joined later by Bayah. as it was getting late, mom, me and put went to alamanda to shop for his essentials.

we then rushed home after a tiring shopping venture. by 10, went out to Taman Warisan for late dinner. sangat lambat, semua kedai dah tutup kecuali sate samuri who gave in to at least prepare us sate sans the nasi kapit. my treat.

next in the morning, after having a heavy brunch, we rushed to UIAM Matriculation Center in PJ. lepak there for a few hours. Mak still insisting upon compounding her last minute edicts that i couldn't help but snort in exasperation. really. kekadang kesian gak tapi Mak, she seems unable to change her spots. ever. kesian. kekadang menyesal jugak bila difikirkan diri yg terkadang tidak pandai mengambil dan menyejukkan hati Mak. semacam penat nak melayan :( tu belum lagi bila Mak dah tua rete and me with my own family, kan? cuma terkadang, rasa tersiksa jiwa raga bila mak degil-degil berkeras sebegitu... there, i took the chance to walk around to the kedai Kamal where i used to hunt for sundries and newspaper back in year 1999-2000. terasa nostalgik sekejap bila jalan2 kat situ. all the old buildings across the road had been replaced by Jaya ONE. they even have Nando's and kopitiam there, can you imagine that? anyhow, put settled down nicely and we took a few pix there.

later on, me as the sole child, went with mak and ayah to MidV. Ayah got himself a rather pricey N81. nice one. mak was so sporting to show effort and interest in Ayah's latest acquisition whilst me the marauding soul couldn't help but maraude. yup. i was so used of being alone. we later on settled on Nando's delicious treat. know what, the Diva treat was really turning me into a diva.. lambat dan incomplete service sungguh! but glad that mak and Ayah enjoyed my treat there. dad managed to tuck in more even though he had his Burger King earlier as we waited for the NAndo chicken to appear.

balik umah sampai malam, i was bumped. there went my weekend. penat siot. nasib baik applied cuti rehat 2 hari. otherwise memang tension la masuk opis on monday dengan penat sebegitu...

xde mood.

been having trouble sleeping these few days. mood jadi tak berapa elok pagi ni..

:(

buat kerja pun jadi tak semangat. nasib baik tadi kak haslin NRE singgah bawak paper. ada jugak rasa cuaca cam redup sikit. otherwise, kemarau kosong yang berpanjangan..

agaknya angau semalam dah habis ya?

oh, well, esok cuti, mak, ayah and seipu wil be coming to kl by flight.. kena entertain ibu bapa.. kena kemaskan home no.7 dan bilik mom&dad..

sigh, rindu semangat suka menambah furniture dan merias home no.7~ sekarang macam sifat pasangan yg dah lama kahwin. taking things for granted. tak boleh jadi, kan? kena spice things up balik. hmmm.. nak amik cuti dua hari utk kemaskan rumah la.. bilik buku tu pun kena buat spring cleaning. buku yg tak best boleh dikembalikan balik..

harap-harap sakit kepala ni tak berlanjutan.. nak shopping!

what to watch?

as unspoken ritual, friday nite is usually spent at the movies or at the gym.

tonight, what to watch ya?

lagu hot! i kissed a girl by Katy Perry

This was never the way I planned
Not my intention
I got so brave, drink in hand
Lost my discretion
It's not what, I'm used to
Just wanna try you on
I'm curious for you
Caught my attention

I kissed a girl and I liked it
The taste of her cherry chap stick
I kissed a girl just to try it
I hope my boyfriend don't mind it
It felt so wrong
It felt so right
Don't mean I'm in love tonight
I kissed a girl and I liked it
I liked it

No, I don't even know your name
It doesn't matter
You're my experimental game
Just human nature
It's not what, good girls do
Not how they should behave
My head gets so confused
Hard to obey

I kissed a girl and I liked it
The taste of her cherry chap stick
I kissed a girl just to try it
I hope my boyfriend don't mind it
It felt so wrong
It felt so right
Don't mean I'm in love tonight
I kissed a girl and I liked it
I liked it

Us girls we are so magical
Soft skin, red lips, so kissable
Hard to resist so touchable
Too good to deny it
Ain't no big deal, it's innocent

I kissed a girl and I liked it
The taste of her cherry chap stick
I kissed a girl just to try it
I hope my boyfriend don't mind it
It felt so wrong
It felt so right
Don't mean I'm in love tonight
I kissed a girl and I liked it
I liked it

-> the tempo was upbeat and infectious. saya suka lagu ni!

of twitchy lips

today, i haven't the faintest idea of the cause but my lower lip couldn't stop from twitching, as if being nibbled or something. it kind of spooky but exhilarating nonetheless.

is it a sign of a silent disease? or is it just a supernatural pehenomenon that our tok nenek have the answers?

em, nak google la kot-kot ada. rasa macam ada article pasal ni..

Bibir

Sekiranya bibir kanan bergerak menunjukkan anda berada dalam keadaan aman.

Manakala jika bibir kiri atas bergerak menandakan anda akan menerima berita baik

Kedua-dua bibir bergerak menandakan akan bertemu kekasih

maklumat suka-suka ni saya dapat dari laman tips ni. bleh percaya ke? huhu-

here's what i found from yahoo! answers, it says twitchy lips could be related to stress or low in potassium or magnessium. stress? maybe. low in potassium or magnesium? perlukah saya minum susu magnesia dan makan lebih banyak jemput pisang?

and from wikiAnswers i got this one:

Facial muscle twitches, like that of the eye or lip, are most likely caused by stress. Your body is under more stress when pregnant because of hormonal changes, so a pregnancy could contribute to a twitch. However, twitches could be caused by other stresses in your life, a change in birth control meds, lack of sleep or good diet, etc.

and for the record, i'm not pregnant. ok? thankyou.

even though, i would love to. be pregnant, at that. it will give me ample excuse to blow up like  a whale whilst my hubby still adores me to the hilt.

angie once confided that brad finds her sexier when she's pregnant. actually she elaborated more on that, and i concur her views even though it sounded a bit tacky there. yup, some girls got their glow manifolds when they are pregnant.

i wish, well, i wish :)

 

i'm yours

bukan bermaksud untuk berkongsi lagu jason mraz "i'm yours" yang disukai medsyam dan echah. sekadar rasa yang ada, rasa happy, rasa di awang-awangan.

buat seketika, terasa bahagia dan berlapang dada. rindukan seseorang yang sedang sibuk bekerja nun jauh di sana, hope that he thinks of me too with a smile. dalam jiwa, seakan berkocak rasa rindu yang istimewa hanya untuk dia seorang.. tapi diri seakan selesa memberi ruang kepada Abang untuk mengisi ruang sendiri, sometimes i wonder whether it is better that way..

it isn't that my thoughts aren't brimming with his presence. his smiles, his tendency to incline his head unconsciously as he speaks or thinks, his jibes, terbayang di mata everytime i let myself to be swept away. walau sesibuk manapun minda berfikir tentang kerja, sentakan ingatan tentang senyuman Abang tetap datang bertamu menyebabkan ummm, well, made me miss him a little bit more.

he made me felt that there's a hope worth cherishing. a guy worth waiting for. even though the odds are a little bit high, i wish that i will be able to have us happy together.

he will always be my someone to cuddle up to when the going gets tough and share your shoddy days with. my very own McDreamy.

mungkin suatu hari nanti, kan? now i'm all dark and twisty, hahaha :)

sigh~ i'm yours, Abang.